It was 1:15 am. I probably had to sleep but, I felt reflecting towards long histories of conscious thoughts. It happens every night when creative impulses of mind elicit intersecting itinerants. As soon as I went through my diary, I opened its first page and I found as written, “The problem I face in life is captivity of thoughts and opinions. I face it when I find no reason even in the critique of pure reason. George Orwell’s sheer egoism in “why I write” and the disciplinarian: the moral legality is in the same boat of captivity on the philosophical concern. Pure reason critique is a recipe but disillusions itself in the realm of perfection. Such as, people who are anti-utilitarian portray themselves as biased in their entity. I find no meaning but lucid strength and vulgar sympathies.”

After reading it, I found the core interior depths of answering a discourse. But it’s still confusing while someone asks a simple question. You already know that a simple question needs a simple answer but, how can you satisfy yourself with long literary reads of philosophies? For example; when you are familiar with truth, logic, moralities, rationality, absurdity, scientific assumptions, postmodernism —-ethics, logic, contradictions and so on and forth.

It postulates a hierarchical paradigm of each discussion of a word. Even, the food you order in an elite restaurant resembles with hastiness of utilitarian-pragmatism. On the other hand, the Daba’s symbolise with a hastiness that recalls the conservative phenomena. It becomes indistinct to assume and relate each module. Then, you act as theory and practice are two assumptions of structuralist and functionalist. They can coincide but, they are in the format of dialectical and reality. However, these two assumptions again drive you towards a river of confrontation that how will you find yourself nearer to reality and fiction?

Fiction is a derivative reality. For a person to say “hello” to a friend and shake hands—-whether he first thinks in fiction that he meets him or she just meets him with shaking hands without any gesture? Isn’t it the mind that drives a person to shake hands or is it the real self that has the behaviour? What I presume is that the real is indiscriminate and encapsulated. However, fiction is a derivative reality. We live in a century of one chooses to find out the core depths of meanings, he never lives on ideas of conclusions but mutates and circulates of findings. Such that metanarrative of ideas paralyses with diverse phenomena. One is that the complexity of  “nowhere”. Sometimes, it is trouble with two different words. “Nowhere” or “nowhere”. This is what I thought in the simplest format of articulating words that are unreal. Words can be anything that we choose them to be. Moreover, Imaginations, spirituality and practical principles of knowledge climb top of the absurdist mountain and hell! you fall down. You feel like you need a glass of “Nirvanaian spill” to run out from existential despair.

Back to the memories of my long literary impulses, I remember my first philosophical book “Sophie’s world”. I read it when I was in 6th grade.

It was Unbearable to ask questions to my friends and hopeless to ever stop hearing the letters from the Philosopher in the fiction. What a milestone it was that rejected my past poetries of John Keats and Shakespeare! I didn’t know when can I find the discoveries of partisanships in book genres.

Interestingly, I found myself more in touch with Albert Camus, Russel, Simon de Beauvoir, and some other philosophical writers. Soon after, I started reading wars of history, from the Treaty of Westphalia to the French Revolution, German nationalism, world wars and treaties. To claim me less on political biased, I found no regret but regrets of invincible principles. It motivated a life with barriers.

Whether it is Slavoj Zizek romanticism and the hotness of communism or Fukuyama’s accountable governments.

The former phenomenally acts of human evolution of knowledge with the trash can of ideologies “capitalism”  and the latter, that intensified accountability, governance, social mobilised groups, bureaucratic tendencies and reciprocates of economic evolution.

Though, to fix that all in one schedule is a dense possibility. While neutrality is a hard job to take the side which Zezik’ considers “a tendency siding with the right-wing naturally”. Likely,

the holiest digital pdfs of the present Yuval Noah Harari’s lessons that always have supportive experience on artificial intelligence. But the prospects of positivity and negative implications are different aspects that individuals and government’s take.

Whether technology can be good for surveillance covid-19 cases or bad as finding out innocents behind bars. Correspondingly, one has to believe in the notion, what minimalists say, “we are too much materialistic in the everyday sense of the world but, not, at all materialistic in the everyday sense of the word.”

Later, I realised that KGB’s fictions are a flaw in the modern age that even resist getting the film in US serials on partisanship’s. The US fictional spies in movies are psychologically injecting and consulting human cognition to attack the KGB’s while the resistance remains from both sides. There is no denying fact that US TV serials and films were on war machines and artificial intelligence between 2000-2010. The series and films go smoothly with ages and those which are socially more acceptable with desires and capital demands: These films represent what communists call, “ the representation of capitalism” or “the objectification of the unreal”. While, on the other hand, it was always a revolutionary hastiness and chantings of counterarguments. However, it was accepted or rejected; accepting it from the far-right or rejecting it from the far-left. To be clear on what I aim to say is to understand the real interpretation of constructing the self. It is to learn, unlearn or relearn. It is through reading, writing, analysing and swimming in the deeper ocean. It gravitates you deeper with genres.

Once, I watched Sherlock Holmes detective reasonings in Baker Street and Freud’s consciousness of dreams. I was adaptive for detective reasonings which formulates intelligence and hypothesis. However, the biased phenomena of recent human drama restrict us to choose what and how. As the truth varies from person to person; there is no truth or what Aristotle’an would say in contemporary “dear is truth, but dearer is still human rationality” Truth is what I presume Edward said’s critique on the western philosophies and Eurocentrism only in a single direction, not, wholly. A single direction is the only way to truth; even a slight head-shake can divert the truth.

Furthermore, the truth is, history is written by writers and not by only victors. Art that intensified my longer imaginations, I never drew or imagined but read and write. Such alike, Persistence of Memory by Salvador Dali. Thus, today’s art is more unusual than the renaissance in the sense that modern art manifolds words and more manifolds. Such as A post-modern art is something that is unsatisfactory to my conscience being but it becomes a good market experience of someone else’s. It is an objectification of demands. That’s not an endorsement to any political and economical ideologies that I shall owe it but a manifesting one. More to convince others on my reading hierarchies of paradigm shifts, journalistic writing was something that made me political but irrespective to any partisanship except my long reads. I felt that a person should have diverse images and personas. For example a social media profile and a real self in the world. Such that: no one is wrong on his/her prospects but conditionally learned and skilled by society. More like the former sentence; an article or an opinion about a general topic can be fixed to one point so that the necessity of the topics must be covered rather than making it complex with inclusivity. An essay on “education” can best be described in its title. The general understanding of exemplifying this, is, because of criticism that people make on others when a person writes an article or an opinion. “Criticism for the sake of criticism” is the only human existential certainty that is visible and important but, unnecessary criticism is subjectively problematic. As I said earlier, simple questions need simple answers; a single topic needs a single direction otherwise the part leaks quality. Such alike, criticism in journalism must live criticism back to journalism—-to counter-argument back in the journal.

Interestingly, I wanted to stay apolitical but reading was the only nostalgia that disillusioned me over the political crisis. Unfortunately, I felt, I was not capable of journalistic writing because of influencing and effectiveness on my causes to others. Later, I found that practising is the only remedy to correctness and rewriting the articles. But I still believe that I would find my current writing skills lacking facts or figures, dialectical structuralism, political partisanship’s and reciprocates.

More truth is accepted on moral grounds, reading is an art and curiosity of knowing the self. And writing is the history that represents art and artisan. let’s read and spill our minds with long written histories.

The writer is a student of Political Science at GCU Lahore.